Cars old and new

For years, I drove around in an old van bodied Land Rover Freelander. It leaked in the rain and the air conditioning never really conditioned any air, but boy, was it reliable.

The only liquids it ever required were diesel and screen wash. The two litre BMW engine ran all day at normal temperature, whatever the conditions outside were like. It was a bit bouncy when empty, but put half a ton of cement bags in the back and it glided along like a Rolls Royce.

It took all my tools, including a cement mixer, when we moved to France in 2012, and hauled tons of building materials whilst I was renovating our French cottage.

But with old age and arthritis setting in I needed something more comfortable, and easier to get in and out of. I settled on a Renault Kadjar, largely because of the height of the doors. It is very easy to drive and very comfortable, with an almost infinite number of ways to adjust the seating.

But the gadgets, the innumerable gadgets. Most of them are just useless, but one of them is positively dangerous. It has a collision detection system. If it thinks you are going to hit something it applies the brakes. Driving down the A20 to Limoges one day, coming up to a dark tunnel and suddenly a sharp rain shower. The combination of a solid sheet of rain against a dark tunnel entrance made it think "Ah ha, we are going to collide with this" and it applied the brakes. The forty ton wagon behind me did not have a collision detection system, but it did have powerful air brakes and a loud horn. I managed to wrestle the Kadjar onto a slip road,fighting against the brakes, found the collision detection button on page thirteen of the touch sensitive dashboard screen and turned it off. It has stayed off ever since.

I also don't need red lights on the rear view mirrors to tell me that there is a vehicle next to me. If I can't work that out with constant observation of the road around me, then I should not be driving.

Sat-nav; never needed it. Anyway, I have a biological sat-nav, who also tells me when I am going too fast or am too close to the grass verge (we don't have many kerbs in Haute Vienne.) So I don't need the speed warning beep either.

The only useful gadget is the rear camera. I never use it for reversing, but, if I am in a strange place, it is useful to glance at it to see if any kids or dogs are lurking behind me, as the rear window cill is quite high.

I have got used to the electronic hand brake, bit I miss not being able to do a handbrake turn.

If they got rid of all the gadgets and associated sensors, the Kadjar would weigh a lot less and therefore spew a lot less CO² into the atmosphere.

At 81, it is unlikely that I will buy another car, but it I did, it would be a hybrid. Full electric just moves pollution from the car to the power station, whereas hybrid at least cuts pollution by half.